This week has been one of the worst yet the best week ever. Well let me explain why was it the worst. Life as a “men” now in the army is quite a tough one. You are easily pushed around because you are of the lowest rank, your boss scolds you whether you work hard or not, and plays favorites. Besides all these, there is a particular guy who is the same rank as me that gets me on my nerves a lot. I got so angry at him that I almost wanted to hit him (never had such a feeling in years). In summary, I saw myself falling in terms of character, I was so fleshly.
“I asked God, how can I be your witness at all, I’m not perfect! I can’t be consistent, I can’t be showing your fruit and preach your gospel.”
This is why it is the best week. God said “I did not ask you to lean on your own strength, but lean on mine.” It is where I came to realized and thank God that in my whole army life has been a life where I got to see my flaws here and there. It is not me that shall represent the Lord but the Holy Spirit that is to be evident in me. I gladly yield to him because Euclid does not have the power to help, to save, but it is Jesus! As Kathryn Kuhlman said “I’ll die a thousand deaths before I’ll step up on that stage, because I know that Kathryn Kuhlman can do nothing.”
Empty Me - by Jeremy Camp:
Today the Holy Spirit asked me to go pray for healing for a friend’s mom and preach the good news to him. This is a new level of faith that I’m stepping out in. I have never went alone to pray for healing for someone in such a manner, I usually tagged with Rusty. But you know what, it isn't me that does this work, it is the Lord who will stretch forth His hand. Praise God!
Wasted quite a lot of time playing computer games this afternoon. I didn’t spent my time with God as much as I wanted. I knew that I was succumbing to the flesh and my spirit was drying up. So I took the discipline to stop. I didn’t want to go to church because I reasoned, since I didn’t get to spend much time with God in the day, I’m not going to FGA so that I’ll use the time for some “recovery” QT. Then the Holy Spirit tugged me, and persuaded me to go to FGA. I’m so glad that I listened to Him.
When I went there the worship was just amazing. It was amazing because the presence of the Lord was strongly evident. As I was there, every moment the Holy Spirit was filling me, even during the announcements. Today’s sermon though sounded more like the sharing of the speaker’s life testimony, but the message was about trusting God. I have come to understand that Jesus wants me to learn to trust in the season of my time. Though in such a season it is where I step out to many uncertainties, and it’s where I am faced to surrender certain things in my life, I can gladly say that this journey is so wonderful. The more I surrender and trust, the more I step into the realm of heaven, because more of the Holy Spirit is in me.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”– Romans 8:28-30
I have been asking God to open my eyes to see what He sees constantly, and as time passes, I get to see the more of the truth and it changes my thinking and I get to understand how God really feels towards the unsafe, sick, bonded, hypocrites, faithful, and so on and so forth. As I walked down the streets of Douby Ghourt, I started to read people. I could see things in them but I do not know how to express it. I see it but I do not understand. Reminds me of the time where I saw and apostolic anointing, but did not know that it was apostolic; till I met an apostle then I knew what that anointing was. As I drew closer to the Holy Spirit, He gives me understanding. Anyway, after an edifying dinner with a newly met sister, Angie, I found my self walking along the street with the Glory of the Lord increasing more and more. “Where are you going after this?”
“ To my grandfather’s wake.” “Oh no!”
“It’s ok, he is saved.” =)
Even at the funeral with all the Taoist processions going on, the Glory of the Lord is still event on me. Could still feel His presence surrounding me. I went to a corner and turned on my new “creative zen mosaic.” Then a particular song had a very strong anointing in it. It was a song titled “holy holy holy” by Paul Wilbur. This was like the “uncountable” time that a song in connection to Israel has affected me so deeply. I believe God is trying to tell me something. When I listened to the song “holy holy holy,” I saw a vision of a robe which was long and magnificent. It was the robe of the Lord and it was so long that it filled my entire vision. Then I saw the temple of the Lord. At once I had to control myself from breaking down at the sight of it. Then the Holy Spirit gave me understanding. We are the temple of the Lord, and that’s how the Lord sees us. He desire’s us to be beautiful and magnificent. But many a times we defile the temple by involving ourselves with the cares of the world. We disrupt our discernment of God’s voice by filling our minds with the voice of the world and therefore cannot hear Him anymore. The Lord desires us to forsake the beauties of the world so that we may be adorned with the beauty of heaven, which is far far far more beautiful than anything in the world. We always see that by surrendering to God means loosing something, but fail to realize that by surrendering we are gaining back what is for us. From blessings to happiness, all these are for us but the devil has come to steal all these from us. We fail to realize that by not surrendering, we are settling for a temporary and false happiness. Therefore, let us keep the temple of the Lord, Holy. at the wake, I toldmy mom, the priest is not fake, he really has a demon in him. Seems like a low ranking one. I saw it through his eyes. Not sure whether he got it by invitation or unknowingly though.
